


Golden Stars

by Kytanna



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Competition, Consort Bilbo Baggins, Family Feels, Fluff and Humor, Good Uncle Bilbo Baggins, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 11:41:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19019206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kytanna/pseuds/Kytanna
Summary: With Thorin and Dís away, Bilbo is left to take care of the kingly duties. Everything was supposed to go perfectly fine, of course, falling down the stairs was not part of his plans.From the tumblr prompt: " I'm trying to see if I can slip the company in here! Perhaps Bilbo gets injured in his foot. It barely hurts. It's like having a hole in your shoe to hobbits. But the company is completely flustered when they see Bilbo limp, and even prompt (or actually do succeed) to carry him around, and comfort him while they do so."





	Golden Stars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [navyfeather](https://archiveofourown.org/users/navyfeather/gifts).



> Here I am, with another prompt from Tumblr! This time from @navyfeather, you should check her fic "The Ravens of Erebor" because it's amazing. 
> 
> Here is the whole prompt: "I adore your family-fics beyond measure ❤, so I'm trying to see if I can slip the company in here! Perhaps Bilbo gets injured in his foot. It barely hurts. It's like having a hole in your shoe to hobbits. But the company is completely flustered when they see Bilbo limp, and even prompt (or actually do succeed) to carry him around, and comfort him while they do so. (And while Bilbo scoffs and snorts, secretly he enjoys his time most on -blank's- back, and maybe starts to tempt them ♪)"
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story, it definitely has all the family feels your heart may need.  
> You can find me as x-kytanna-x on Tumblr, feel free to stop by and say hi!

Bilbo sighed as he took his circlet off; having to rule the whole mountain on his own was harder than he had expected. He had been consort for little more than two years and he had been pretty confident that he knew his way around all that entailed ruling Erebor.

Thorin and Dís were off to the Iron Hills and Bilbo had stayed to overlook Erebor. Things had gone smoothly enough but it was still tiring business, ruling on his own.

Balin and the boys had helped in everything they could, even going to guild meetings instead of Bilbo so he could catch up with important documents. The three weeks that Thorin and Dís would be gone were almost over, that very morning he had received a letter from his husband, informing him that they would arrive in less than three days. Bilbo had almost jumped in joy, he missed his husband and the dwarrowdam he had come to love like a sister.

Dís had been more open and receptive to him been with Thorin than Bilbo would have ever expected. She had later told him that never in her life she had seen his brother or sons that happy, to her, it had been as if his brother had finally found what he had been looking for all his life; and if that came in the package of a funny looking, curly-haired and beardless little being, who was Dís to judge. She loved her family more than anything, it was the only thing she had left, after all. So for them, she would try her best and she would welcome Bilbo into their family.

Needless is to say that Bilbo had to dab some of the tears that had traitorously escaped his eyes. No one ever had done that for him, not even the family he still had back in the Shire. Dís had welcomed him with open arms and Bilbo had basked in the love.

So this was what it felt to have a sister!

He had been slightly jealous of Thorin when he talked about her. Bilbo had always craved to have siblings, and a sister sounded like the most magnificent thing to have.

She had been the one to teach him proper dwarven etiquette and had been more than willing to learn the hobbit’s. She had been the one to talk to him about how Thorin truly was after the dragon came, she told him the hard truths that no one else dared. She had been the one to take him to the gardens that had once belonged to her mother and she had been the one that helped him to make it his own. She had been the one to break the nose of the dwarf lord that had dared to call Bilbo “whore”. And she, of course, had been the one to help him dress for his wedding and the one that, with tears in her eyes, had told him that no other was worth to have the title of consort but him.

So yes, Bilbo missed them both terribly.

Thankfully he had the rest of his family to make him company, his sweet dwarves were never far. Always there was someone to make him company.  
Sometimes too much company…

Bilbo changed his clothes and put on some more comfortable ones, getting ready one of Thorin’s shirts to wear as his sleeping clothes later. Making his way towards the library, he greeted the guards and took his time to have a chat with one of them that Bilbo knew had been father recently.

Once there, Bilbo took his time choosing and took as many books as his arms could carry. After one time that Bilbo had brought so many books that there was simply no space for Thorin to lie in the bed, they had agreed in a maximum of ten books in their chambers, so now that Thorin wasn’t here Bilbo could take all the books he wished.

And that he did, his arms so full he could barely see where he was going, he made his way back to his chambers. Bilbo walked slowly and refused any help that was offered. It might not look like it but Bilbo was much stronger than when he had left the Shire, Thorin and the rest had made sure of that. Bilbo needed to be able to protect himself in case he needed it, of course, he had been more than on board, Bilbo had never been one to not try his best just because it would be hard. The fact that Thorin planned to have him surrounded by guards at all time, had been perhaps another great motivator.

Bilbo was carefully climbing down the stairs that led to a hallway, that would take him directly to his rooms when he heard someone calling him. He turned to see who it was.

It was a grave mistake.

Next thing he knew was that he was falling and he was nowhere ready to catch himself. Bilbo rolled down the remaining stairs, feeling a sharp pain in his shoulder and an even sharper one on the sole of his foot. He reached the end with a thud.

Bilbo opened his eyes and groaned.

Perfect, just perfect, clearly Yavanna was not by his side that day.

Even before he could think about getting back on his fuzzy feet, he heard a horrified scream.

“BILBO! MAHAL HELPS US ALL! ARE YOU OKAY?!” Ori was screaming at the top of his lungs, running down the stairs. He looked even worse than Bilbo felt, his face ashen like that of a corpse, and his whole body shaking uncontrollably.

Bilbo flicked his tongue. Poor lad, Bilbo had gone and scared him out of his wits with his clumsiness.

“Oh Ori, I’m all right. It was nothing. I just tripped.” Bilbo tried to ease the dwarf and sat up with Ori helping him at all times.

“That didn’t look like nothing! You rolled all the way down. Are you hurt anywhere? I should call someone. OÍN, OÍN, SOMEONE BRING ME OÍN!” Bilbo covered his ears, it never failed to surprise him how loud dwarves could be.

Sadly for him, Ori had noticed what he was doing and in the state he was, it was no surprise he jumped to conclusions. “Oh no! Is your head okay? Does it hurt?!”

Before Bilbo could even answer, the guards that were making their rounds arrived, running with their weapons ready.

“What happened?” Asked one of them.

“Is his majesty okay?” Asked another one, when he noticed Bilbo sitting in the cold stone floor and all his books haphazardly thrown everywhere.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s really not necessary to make all this fuss.” Bilbo didn’t want to whine, it was uncouth but he was at his wits end. He just wanted some rest and a good book with a cup of tea before going to bed for the night. Was it too much to ask?

Well, apparently so.

“He fell down the stairs while carrying all those books and I’m pretty sure he banged all his body when he fell. It looked pretty nasty to me. We need Oín here.”

Bilbo sent Ori a glare, see if he saved him again when his brothers felt like nagging and mothering him.

Bilbo suppressed a sigh when he saw how every single one of the guards paled.

“Quick! Bring healer Oín!” Ordered the same guard that had asked what had happened. Bilbo had an inkling that his name started with ‘Brh’. He would call him B for now. B turned around and kneeled by his side. “Please, consort Bilbo, remain still.”

Bilbo huffed, mumbling a few curses under his breath. “Fine, I will wait for Oín. But I’m already telling you that there is nothing to worry about.”

Bilbo waited, counting the tiny spiders he could spot on the far end of the wall, while the others didn’t take off their eyes from him, as if they were afraid he was about to drop dead any second.

Soon enough Oín was running towards them and to Bilbo’s dismay he was not alone, his dwarf-nephews, the Ur’s and Dwalin were with him as well.

Fuck his life, now he would never be able to rest.

“Uncle Bilbo!” His boys were already running towards him but stopped short just a few inches from him, clearly afraid of hurting him even more.

Bilbo opened his arms. “Come here, I’m perfectly fine, I simply tripped.”

“I will be the judge of that laddie.” Said Oín, calmer now that he had seen that Bilbo wasn’t on his death bed as Bilbo suspected the guard had told him.

Oín put down the bag he had brought with him and kneeled beside Bilbo. He first looked into his eyes, ‘making sure he didn’t have a concussion’. He prodded Bilbo’s ribs and when he made sure that nothing was broken, he looked at Bilbo and asked, “did it hurt anywhere when you fell?”

“My shoulder hurt a tad and I think I may have nicked my foot with something, it stings a little.” Bilbo knew better than to lie.

Oín helped him take off his shirt to check on the shoulder, and Bilbo hissed when Oín pressed too hard on the tender skin.

“This will bruise, it’s not serious but I’ll tell you not to carry weight with that arm.”

“But it doesn’t even hurt that much!” Protested Bilbo.

“Aye, not now. We’ll see tomorrow. Now with the foot, show me. Which one it is?”

Bilbo raised his left food. “This one.”

Oín grabbed his ankle with a gentle but strong grip and drew his face closer to have a good look at it.

“Hmm, aye, it looks like you have a small rock stuck deep into your sole.”

Bilbo grimaced and he heard Kíli quietly gasp. “Can you take it out? It not very comfortable.”

“Are you sure it doesn’t hurt? Seems to be pretty deep to me.” Asked Dwalin, while Oín took out what looked like tweezers.

“Not very much, no. We hobbits have hardy feet and our soles, in particular, are not very sensitive.”

“All right then, here, bite into this if you need. This might hurt more than you think.” Oín gave him a piece of cloth and Bilbo looked at it dubiously but took it anyway.

“Dwalin, hold his leg in case he moves.” Oín waited until Dwalin had done as he was told. He looked at Bilbo reassuringly. “Now lad, count to three.”  
Bilbo nodded even if he felt like they were making a mountain out of a grain of rice. Kíli and Fíli had come to his side when Dwalin had been told to hold his leg, taking that as a sign that it was okay to touch Bilbo, and now were holding his hand and shoulder respectively.

“One. Two. Th-” Bilbo hissed with a grimace when he felt the pebble being pulled out from his foot.

“This is all my fault. If I hadn’t called your name when you were climbing down the stairs you would have never fallen.” Bemoaned Ori, watching worriedly as Oín cleaned all the blood that had begun flowing from the wound.

“Don’t you worry Ori, this won’t take but a minute to heal. Besides, it was an accident, you shouldn't blame yourself.”

“You are right laddie, it was an accident. But your foot is more than a wee injured. You will need a week rest.”

“What?! No. I have things to do, my duties await for me. I can’t just drop them, not now that Thorin is not here. I swear that it doesn’t even hurt that much. No more than a sting.” Bilbo knew he was rumbling and sounded quite desperate but he was not going to spend a whole week in bedrest just because he had nicked his foot with a sharp pebble.

“Bilbo, please. What if you hurt your foot even more for overworking yourself, huh?” Begged Bofur, twisting his hat on his dirty hands. He had clearly come running straight from the mines.

Bilbo sighed. They weren’t wrong, maybe he was not feeling the pain just yet from the shock he had gotten when he fell.

“I guess a little rest won't hurt.”

When everyone smiled relieved, Bilbo felt a pang of guilt. They were just trying to help and he was making things much harder, it was not fair at all for them.

Carefully to not injure him farther, Dwalin picked him up and carried him all the way back to his rooms, with the rest of the dwarves following close by. Ori had been kind enough to pick all his books up and take them with him and once on his bedroom, he had put them on Bilbo’s writing desk.

Bilbo had been carefully placed in the bed, his foot neatly bandaged and with some healing salve spread on top of the wound. Fíli and Kíli had declared that they would stay in the spare bedroom and would make sure to check on Bilbo. If it had been any other time they would have perhaps insisted on sleeping with him on his bed but now that he was injured they were afraid of hurting him in their sleep.

Oín had made him some rather disgusting tea to ease the pain on his body and help him sleep and had never taken his eyes from him while he was drinking it. Making sure Bilbo left the cup empty.

Despite the awful taste, the tea proved to be quite effective because almost as soon as he had finished drinking it, his eyes were drooping closed without his permission. His family must have left at some point but Bilbo’s memory was more than a little blurry of when that could have been.

He woke up the next morning, head fuzzy but feeling more rested than he had felt in the last month. He checked the clock and realized that it was just before first breakfast. Marvellous.

He had been skipping first breakfast the entire week to instead sleep another hour. Bilbo, aware of what Oín had told him, got up and moved as slowly as he could, waiting for any sign of pain that may arrive. After a few seconds, he was sitting on the edge of the bed and without a trace of pain. Tentatively, he pressed his foot against the cold stone and when he felt nothing he got up.

“Oh, blasted foot!” Perhaps he should have started with the other foot. The pain was not too bad but it still stung sharply when Bilbo pressed too hard.

He made his way to the kitchen with a slight limp in his step. It took him more to prepare his food but in less than an hour, everything was set. After not eating anything the night before, Bilbo was famished. He devoured his food with mighty speed and when he was finished he thought about what he would do now.

Bilbo didn’t really felt hurt or injured, he still could easily work as he was. He was sitting most of the time anyway, he just needed something to lean on when he had to walk.

Bilbo scanned the room and let out a triumphant sound when he spotted his walking stick. That would certainly suffice.

He dressed up and got ready for the day. He had been willing to spend the day resting in the unlikely case he woke up feeling as bad as Oín had said he would. But once again Bilbo had proved them wrong, and yes, it did hurt but not enough to deter Bilbo from fulfilling his duties.

He checked and made sure the boys were still sleeping. Putting on his circlet and leaving a note and a bountiful breakfast for them, he sneaked out.

Thankfully no one told him anything on his way to the royal study. Bilbo closed the door behind him and sighed in relief when it appeared that there was nobody there just yet.

“Laddie, what are you doing here? Dwalin and Ori told us what happened. I was just about to go and pay you a visit.”

Bilbo almost hit Balin in the face with his walking stick from the fright, of all the times a dwarf could choose to make himself quiet…

“Well, yes, I stumbled but as you can see I’m perfectly fine. Not on my death bed as they had probably made you believe.”

So perhaps Bilbo was still a bit miffed about been coddled like a baby.

“You know we only care about you and want you as healthy as they come.” As always Balin knew him too well.

“But you know I don’t like to be treated like a wilting flower that is going to break if you just look it the wrong way. I’m not weak Balin and I know my limits.”

Balin raised one of his bushy eyebrows and gave him a look.

“All right, most of the time I do. And I promise you this time I’m not straining myself.”

“Very well laddie, I will trust on this.” Responded Balin, putting a hand on Bilbo’s shoulder.

Bilbo put his hand of top and squeezed it slightly while he smiled at one of his most trusted friends. Balin had never underestimated him and had always supported Bilbo as Erebor’s consort and Bilbo will never stop being thankful for that.

“I believe we have some paperwork to go through before our meeting with Lord Ronlir about this season’s crops. Your friend’s advice seems to have proved fruitful.”

Bilbo had written to Hamfast asking how he would go about starting to plant crops in a mountain. A letter, a crate full of seeds and all kinds of tools had been his answer, and as it has always been with Hamfast, he had proved himself to be one of the best farmers and gardeners of The Shire. Now Erebor had its own source of food. They still had a standing trade with Dale and Mirkwood but now they didn’t have to worry about anyone having a lack of food or resources in winter.

Balin and he worked well into the afternoon, and just before lunch, they decided to take a break.

They walked side by side and Bilbo felt Balin’s side glances, most likely resisting the urge to help him walk or straight up pick him up. Bilbo could only be thankful for him trying to tamper down those impulses. He was already surprised no one had come to bother them, he had expected at least the boys to come running after him just mere hours after he had left. Surprisingly, that hadn’t been the case and Bilbo had had a peaceful morning.

Once the arrived at the kitchens, Bombur, now the royal head chef, spotted them while he was getting the hall ready for lunch.

“Bilbo! Lad, shouldn’t you be resting? I was waiting for one of the boys to come by to send you food with them.”

“I’m quite fine Bombur, the rumours about my fatal injury have been greatly exaggerated. It’s nothing but a scratch. And I’m pretty sure the boys don’t know where I am.”

Bombur shook his head and looked at him with eyes full of fondness. “You hobbits are very tough for such wee things.”

Bilbo swatted him in the shoulder and answered with a mock frown on his forehead. “We are not that short you know, at least compared to dwarves. Men and elves, on the other hand, are unnaturally and bizarrely tall.”

A few of the other dwarves that were present on the hall heard Bilbo and muttered their approval at what had been said.

“Here you go then, eat up before they get here. They ain’t gonna left your side when they find you.”

Bombur put a full bowl of hearty stew in front of him, Bilbo would kiss him right now. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until the smell of food had hit him. If nothing else, Bombur’s food never failed to cheer his day up.

As Bilbo kept eating, Bombur kept filling the table with more delicious and appetizing food, from honey bread to roasted beef. He had made all of Bilbo’s favourites, even his carrot and orange juice!

After finishing such magnificent feast, Bilbo was feeling in a much better mood and before leaving the kitchen he had made sure to hug his redheaded friend and give him a light tap on the forehead.

“Promise me you will retire early and spend the late evening resting. Please.”

Bilbo had always found hard to say no to Bombur so he could do nothing else but nod, smiling slightly at him. “Okay.”

Balin, that had already finished eating a while ago, had been patiently waiting for him.

“Let’s go then. We have the meeting in half an hour.”

“Oh yes, we should hurry up.”

They walked all the way back to the royal study to pick up the documents needed for the meeting. And there, right there, to Bilbo’s total and utter dismay was the whole company, with the exception of Bombur.

They were all crowded on the entrance and for a moment Bilbo felt the urge to flee and improvise the whole meeting. Surely Lord Ronlir wouldn’t mind very much.

Just as he was backtracking they spotted him. In that moment Bilbo truly missed Thorin. Had he been there Bilbo would have simply hidden behind him and with all the furs and layers he wore no one would have noticed pocked-sized Bilbo.

Erü! maybe he would have even been able to fit inside of Thorin’s coat! At this point, he was willing to hide anywhere just to get as far as he could from all those sharp and unnerving glances that his family was throwing at his way.

“Bilbo!”

“Lad!”

“Uncle Bilbo, where have you been?!”

“Doing my duties of course. I promise you I’m not as hurt as you think I am. It barely stings anymore.”

“No.”

Bilbo looked at Dwalin that carried fierce scowl on his face, a sign that Bilbo had made him worry too much.

“No? What do you mean with ‘no’?”

Bilbo did felt guilty about making him worry but the burly dwarf was barely making any sense.

“You ain’t gonna walk with a stick or put any weight on you fussy feet.”

And just like that he picked Bilbo up and threw him on top of his shoulder like a blasted bag of potatoes.

“PUT ME DOWN YOU BRUTE! DWALIN! DWALIN I TOLD YOU TO PUT ME DOWN!” Bilbo banged at Dwalin’s back with his fists as hard as he could.

How dare he, carrying him like a toddler with a tantrum!

Thankfully for him, Balin decided to intervene. “Mahal bless us! Call calm down, both of you!”

“Dwalin put him down and Bilbo, stop hitting him.”

Both did as they were told and Bilbo couldn't help but notice how careful Dwalin was with him even in his anger. He turned his head and looked at the open-mouthed dwarves that were behind him.

Things had clearly got out of hand in a way no one expected.

“Sorry, that was uncalled for. Shouldn't have picked you up like that.”

“I’m sorry I punched you and I also apologize for sneaking out, hiding from you and making you worry.”

Dwalin sighed and flicked his tongue to then proceed to hug the stuffing out of Bilbo.

“Don’t make us worry so much lad, you’re like a brother to me and with Thorin being away I’m always scared of something bad happening to you.”

“Oh, I know! But with me being left in charge I wanted to prove that I could do things on my own without been coddled all the time.” Bilbo said as he hugged Dwalin just as hard.

“I didn’t realize it bothered you.”

“It doesn’t! I love it and that’s what bothers me!”

“What?” Dwalin had let go of him to look at his face but Bilbo could barely meet his eyes.

“It’s been so long since I had a family that every little bit of love I get from you feels like a blessing but it’s not proper for the consort to behave like that, is it?” Bilbo answered, finally meeting his eyes.

“Thorin is so strong and brave and always manages to look so very imposing in front of everyone. What I am compared to that? How can I be called worthy of standing by his side when I’m just a mere hobbit that gets weak-kneed when one of his brothers just as brush his hand against his curls.”

Just as a traitorous stray tear was escaping from his eye, he felt the impact of twelve dwarves throwing themselves at him to hug him, it looked that Bombur had arrived without Bilbo noticing him. Bilbo exhaled a shaky breath.

“Thorin’s absence has clearly affected you because you are forgetting how much of a lovestruck fool he is and how many times you have saved him from making a fool of himself in front of important people.” Fíli said from his left.

“What?”

“Yeah. Do you remember that time he lost track of what Thranduil was saying because he wouldn’t stop looking at you?”

“Or the time he confused a Lord with a grocer.”

“Or the time he almost caused a war with the Blacklocks because he ‘thought’ he heard one of them calling you something offensive.”

“All right, all right. I realize now that the stress from not having Thorin around, and the pressure of doing everything perfectly on his absence has gotten to me.” Bilbo looked at everyone one of his dwarves and gifted them with a smile full of love.

“Thank you though, for still being by my side.”

“Oh Bilbo, we’re always going to be by your side, we are family after all.”

“Me too, you know that right? If any of you need me I will always be there for you.” Bilbo needed to make sure they knew that, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if any of them doubled in asking for help from him.

“We know laddie, you have already proved that plenty of times.”

“We probably should go somewhere else, I can see Lord Ronlir coming this way.” Said Kíli, with a grimace.

Bilbo gasped. “The meeting!”

“Laddie, maybe it should be for the best to leave it for another day, you ain’t feeling so great after all, are you? Perhaps a nice and calm evening with your family is what you need.”

Bilbo thought it over, maybe they were right. “Hm, perhaps so.”

Bilbo sniffed and turned to face the approaching Lord.

“Lord Ronlir, would mind terribly if we postpone the meeting for tomorrow?”

“Your majesty! There you are, I was looking for you for the same reason. I heard what happen and I’m sure the mountain won’t fall apart for one day without you, you have done a wonderful job in the king’s absence.”

That brought a slight blush on Bilbo's cheeks. Lord Ronlir was not prone to give compliments freely so his words meant a great deal to Bilbo.

“Thank you Lord Ronlir, you are very kind.”

“I merely speak the truth. Now, have a good day everyone.”

In a matter of seconds, Lord Ronlir was gone, it seemed he wasn't feeling up for a meeting either.

Bilbo turned to the expectant dwarves.

“Shall we?”

“Aye!” Answered all at one.

Dwalin approached him, this time slowly as if he was afraid Bilbo would be scared of him. “May I?”

“Oh, you may, but I feel like getting a piggyback actually.” Countered Bilbo with a mischievous smile.

Dwalin threw his head back guffawing.

“As you wish your highness.” He even bowed at Bilbo. The cheek!

All the while, the rest were laughing just as loud as Bilbo was.

Dwalin lowered to the ground, enough for Bilbo to be able to climb up on his back. Once positioned Dwalin got a good grip on his thighs and got up.

They went all the way back to his rooms in that manner, the guards and the passing dwarves gawking at them, but Bilbo didn’t care. This was the first time he had felt this happy and free since Thorin had left. It truly appeared that his absence had affected Bilbo more than he had thought.

They got inside and Dwalin took him all the way to his armchair to put him down.

“Thank you, that was fun. I haven't done that since I was a fauntling.”

“Anytime lad.”

“Are you hungry uncle? Fee and I can prepare you something!”

“I could eat, it’s almost time for afternoon tea after all.”

“I was going to make you something.” Said Dori, glaring at the princes.

“I’m the chef here. He will like my food better!”

“What I can make some mean meat pies. I will make him one!”

“My tea is better!”

“I know what he likes best!”

All of a sudden they were all screaming at each other while Bilbo could only look at them in shock.

What in the-

“Calm down please.” Bilbo’s words were lost in the screams and yells.

Hm. That won’t do.

“OKAY. ENOUGH!”

That did it, and all of a sudden everyone had shut up.

There was a rumble of ‘sorries’ all around and then Kíli got a mischievous glint in his eyes that Bilbo was not sure he liked.

“We should have a contest.”

“A contest?” Asked Bofur.

“Of course, to see which one of us makes the best plates according to Bilbo’s taste.”

“Ain’t gonna lose to you lot.”

“I will surely win. I’m the royal head-chef!”

“Who knows, maybe Bilbo will like my cookies better.”

“So am I meant to be the judge of this cooking contest? Because I will have you know I was one of the invited judges at the farming contest and just because you are family I’m not going to go easy on you.” Said Bilbo, loud enough to be heard in all the racket that the dwarves were making.

“I was known to make other hobbit’s cry. Are you sure you want to do this?”

Everyone exchanged glances before nodding at Bilbo and yelling “Aye!” all at once.

“Very well, everyone has two hours to make their dish. The presentation will also count so make sure to put effort into that as well. Understood?”

“Yes!”

“Aye!”

“Pretty clear to me!”

“Marvellous! You have fifteen minutes to get ready.”

Oh! this was going to be so fun! It has been so long since he had been the judge of anything and he was excited. Without anyone realizing, Bilbo made himself tea and pulled out the leftovers of the honey bread he had in the morning. He didn’t want to be full by the time the food was ready to be judged but he was hungry and a little snack before wouldn’t hurt.

He went back to his place in his armchair and observed how they prepared everything. It was in that moment when it hit him. How in the name of Yavanna would they all cook at the same time in his kitchen? His kitchen was not small per se but it wasn’t big enough for twelve big dwarves to cook all at the same time.

“Wait! We have miscalculated something!”

Kíli, Fíli, Bombur, Bifur and Dwalin heard him and turned to look at him, which made the others turn as well.

“You can’t all cook here, there’s simply no way you will fit.”

Realization hit their faces, it appeared that they hadn’t thought about it either.

“I propose we move this competition to the communal kitchens. Then we can bring the food back here to taste it.”

“That’s a wonderful idea, Bilbo! We will have plenty of space there and this star haired rat won’t try to copy my dish.” Said Dori, looking suspiciously at Nori who answered by snickering naughtily at his brother’s look.

“Let’s go then.” Said Bilbo, picking his mug and teapot up. “Boys, can you help me carry these books? I plan to read them while you are working on your delicious dishes.” Bilbo motioned the little pile of books that was on his dining table. He really needed to tide up the room before Thorin arrived. What a mess.

“Sure, Kee give me a hand with these.”

“I’m sure I can carry more.”

“You might the taller of the two but I will have you know I’m the strongest.”

“Oh really? Wanna wager?”

“If I win you will be on documents-reading duty.”

Bilbo couldn’t help his giggle when he saw Kíli’s face of utter disgust.  
He could commiserate, Bilbo also hated paperwork and Fíli as the crown prince had plenty of it.

“Fine. But if I win you will attend all my meetings with Lady Furlla.”

This time Bilbo and a good few of the rest laughed out loud at Fíli’s panicked face. Kíli still had a good amount of duties himself and one of those was to make sure all the guilds worked at full capacity and in the best conditions. Lady Furlla was the best jeweller in all Erebor and the guild leader of her craft, which meant that Kíli had to deal with her often enough. Everything would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that Lady Furlla kept flirting with him at every occasion she got.

“Ugh, all right.”

“Be careful with my books!”

“Aye uncle!”

They rushed towards the kitchen still bickering and pushing each other.

Bilbo was about to follow them when he heard a cough at his side. It was Bifur and he was offering his arm for Bilbo to take, surely so he could have something to hold on and not put weight on his foot.

“ _Dolzekh Menu Bifur_.”

Bifur simply smiled at him and softly tapped their foreheads together, bringing a smile on Bilbo’s face.

Sooner than he expected they were in the kitchens and his dwarves were getting ready once again.

The background chatter they kept going warmed Bilbo’s heart while he read his books and drank his tea.

An hour had passed and Ori had to help douse a fire Dwalin had started Erü knows when. Dori had smashed a half-finished pie into Nori’s face when he had tried to sneak and see what he was doing. Gloín had almost cut his finger off when he was trying to finely chop onions and they had made him tear up, blurring his sight. Bilbo had no idea what Kíli was doing but it looked like someone had crapped on the pan, not that he would tell him that, but still…

It was all a disaster and they were having the time of their life. Bilbo had lost count of the times he had laughed so hard he had almost fallen from where he was perched on a stool. His books lay forgotten, what was currently happening in front of him was much more entertaining.

Bombur seemed to be almost done and kept giving the rest smug looks, Ori was making cookies that looked more like mashed potatoes and Balin who had gotten caught in the middle of Dori’s and Nori’s little quarrel was now spotting a hair full of crumbs and cream.

Ten minutes left and Bilbo couldn't wait to see what they had made for him.

He patiently drank what was left of his already cold tea and when it was just one minute left he began the countdown.

“...Three, two, one. Time is up! Lower your cooking devices.”

Faster than lighting the dwarves had lined up with their plates in hand. Bombur having decided to go last, for surprise purposes Bilbo assumed.

One after the other all the dishes were put down on one of the trays used for feasts and banquets. Big enough to carry all the food the dwarves have concocted.

They cleaned the kitchen in record time and rushed to Bilbo’s rooms, by the time they had arrived the food was still warm and Bilbo was starving.

They all sat scattered around his lounge, sitting in every available surface while Bilbo slowly made his way through every dish, not eating all of it. Goodness no, just tasting and taking notes on a bit of paper he had prepared for that very purpose.

It didn’t take him more than half an hour to taste everything and have made his decision. The company was a nervous wreck by then, trying to interpret every twitch of his mouth and every blink of his eyes.

Bilbo suppressed a smiled. “All your dishes were worthy meals but some stood above others and I have to say that I’m very surprised with how much talent I tasted on every bit of meat or pastry, but more importantly was that all of them were full of love which I enormously cherish in my heart.”

“Yes lad, we love you too but, please, tells us at once what is your verdict.”

Bilbo smiled sweetly and waited for a few seconds for dramatic purposes.

“Bombur ends up first with his marvellous technique and presentation. The flavours were crisp and mouthwatering. Well done my friend!” Bilbo gave him a golden star he had fabricated from some decorative paper he had found in the kitchen while the others were busy cooking.

Dwalin and Bifur scoffed, clearly not pleased that Bombur got a prize out of it. Bombur, with a light blush on his rounded face, smiled proudly at the rest while holding his priced star in front of them to see.

“In second place we have Dori, talented like no other, managed to make oats cookies and hot chocolate beautiful. The way you decorated your dish is unparalleled my friend. Congratulations.” Bilbo gave him another slightly misshapen star, that Dori held in his hands as if it was mithril itself.

Bilbo continued, noticing the anxiousness in the dwarves’ faces.

“In third place, we have no other than our golden prince Fíli!”

“YES!” Fíli jumped with his fist up and a smile so big it looked like his face may split.

“NOOO!!” On the other hand, Kíli threw himself to the floor and bemoaned having lost to his brother.

“Your food was very delicious my boy and it truly felt that it came from your heart. I’m very happy to give you this.” Bilbo gave him his star and Fíli somehow, managed to stick it to his forehead. Bilbo hoped it wasn’t with spit.

He shook his head before looking at the morose faces of the rest. Bilbo scoffed, silly dwarves.

“Well, are the rest of you going to collect your stars?”

All of them looked up at his word and opened their eyes like saucers as if they could not believe their eyes when Bilbo produced nine more stars from his pocket.

Slowly, one by one they came to Bilbo to receive their star, and when Nori showed his to Dori they bumped shoulders with a smile.

Ori put his, on his hat and Dwalin on his left knuckle duster. The brute had refused to take them out to cook. By the end of it, all of them have found a place to show off their star. Bilbo thought it was a poor price in comparison to all the love and happiness they bought him every day.

“Are you hungry? There’s still plenty of food for all of us.”

They ate and a few of them admitted that they were not made by Mahal to prepare food unless they wanted to use it to kill someone.

And the night went by with laughter and chatter, with stories and drinks. A few hours later they found themselves spread out into the floor, one on top of the other and Bilbo in the middle, nestled with blankets and pillows.

Before he knew it he fell asleep, surrounded by his family and their warmth. He couldn't wait for Thorin and Dís to arrive. He had so much to tell them!

**Author's Note:**

>  _Dolzekh Menu Bifur_ : Thank you Bifur.


End file.
